I read this a long time ago. It was a dear Abby letter from a wife getting a divorce.
I’m posting this as some food for thought for those that I know and do not know that may be having a tough time deciding if where they are is where they should be.
- If your parents or siblings have doubts about him, pay attention. Listen and check it out.
- If your intended has nothing good to say about his ex, beware. This is a pattern. Divorce is rarely only one person’s fault.
- If his children have nothing to do with him, do not believe him if he says his ex brainwashed them against him. Ask the children.
- Look closely at his credit and job history. They are sure predictors of what your life will be like.
- If he’s over 30 and has no money, do not let him move in with you, and don’t marry him until he’s financially solvent. If he has any respect for you (and himself), he’ll insist on it.
- Be sure in your heart that you can live with him AS IS. You cannot change who another person is without destroying who they were.
- This is a biggie. Be aware if he has no friends. It is not true that they all chose to side with his ex.
- If your friends dislike him, pay attention. This is also true if he hates your friends.
- If he has more than one DUI and still drinks, RUN!
- If he is one personality at work or with others, and another person alone with you, RUN.
- If he has nothing to do with his parents, investigate why. Do not take his word for it.
- If he’s an expert at everything and brags a lot, understand that he will turn off a lot of people, eventually maybe even you.
- If he has sexual problems, go with him to a doctor before you marry him. Believe me, his problem will become your problem.
- If he is emotionally or verbally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling, name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser.
- If he is never wrong and never apologizes, everything will be “your fault” forever. And after years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame.
- If he does something wrong and says, “That wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t ( ),” that’s another sign of an abuser.
- And if he’s mean to children, pets or animals, recognize that he’s pathological, and the next victim could be you.
I would like to bring up some facts about these helpful hints.
This applies to BOTH genders, not just the man.
This was originally posted in September of 2004, and still holds true today.
If your mate exhibits even just ONE of these behaviors, please do not take it lightly. I speak from experience, they only need to have ONE of these behaviors to turn your world upside down.
Lastly a simple quote:
‘Take the time to do it right and you won’t have to find the time to do it over.’
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